Today, I Died.

And was reborn in Jesus Christ :) Suddenly, everything else seems so unimportant and I have no need for anything or anyone.

So we do not give up. Our physical andy is becoming older and weaker, but our spirit inside us is made new every day. We have small troubles for a while now, but they are helping us gain an eternal glory that is much greater than these troubles.
2 Corinthians 4:16&17

Gozando Lambada

I CAN'T HELP BUT BE OPPRESSIVE AND PESSIMISTIC! Junior year is not what I expected and as of RIGHT NOW, I can't wait to get the fuck out of high school. My last day of my senior year I'll bet you anything that I'm going to cry like a creep that beat her baby to death. Wait... Well I couldn't think of anything else!

I feel like I'm losing you Alberto! And I feel like you can see it too and you're totally fine with it holy shit so depressing :( My glass isn't half full nor half empty. THERE IS NO GLASS TO BEGIN WITH.

Scumbags and Sweethearts

I am happy to announce, to whoever remembers this exists, that I have found the people that matter. I thought I could count them in one hand but it turns out that I don't even need the entire hand. I'm so happy, I really just don't need you anymore :)

Yesterday was yet another talent show that I participated in haha :) Like with most current things that I do, I would have enjoyed it so much more if my health would match my excitement for things. Nonetheless, it was very fun to be out there in front of an audience, and even though my comedy didn't win, I honestly just wanted to do it to put on a good show. People need to laugh! Plus you're so much more attractive when you laugh, it's delishh to my heart :D I love to please the crowd and put on a well-rounded show and I feel satisfied in that aspect. I'm looking forward to all my upcoming activities, especially in representing my pride and joy of a country in International Week by performing an indigenous Aztec celebratory ritual. Oh, and the fact that I'm princess, that's always a self-esteem lifter. I feel like I do a good job representing the Latino community, If I do say so myself.

A lot less depressed, wouldn't you say? I finally have someone there for me and I don't need anything else but to get baptized in Christ and my heart will stop suffering so much :) If it was a burden for you to be there for me, don't you worry about it. I don't need nor like you anymore.

The Serpent Soul Pincher.

Sometimes I feel I should be sitting on a throne being praised and recognized and adored. And at that same instant I feel my flesh should be burning away in hell along with everything that I know. And while I'm feeling I belong in hell I can feel God pulling me upwards showing me what I have to do to go with him and be saved. My feet are planted on the floor with the roots stronger than that of a tree's, and my arms are being tugged at and pulled as if a force is pulling me upwards. I'm stuck. It hurts. And on top of that, people expect me to do things for them, they assume that because I can hide myself from them that nothing is wrong. I lie a lot. I hate you so much. But I can see right through you and I hate you and want to pick out your eyes with my fingers and the exact same time I love you and want to pray for you and want you to kill me instead. But since my cries of help are heard faintly and ignored, I can see again and again how you reject me. And suddenly I see where I want to be and why the hell you mean so much to me. It's hard to let go of you but I can't stand your slaps at my face anymore.

I feel as if I have strings attached to my hands and am being dragged through a path that only those born to be unfortunate can trespass. And the woman who moves me around like a puppet is just sitting there, laughing and laughing at her creation.