beLIEve

Today, after nine years of my parents being together, I finally saw the light. It just never occurred to me that my parents are EXACT OPPOSITES. Yep... Just today, HOLY SHIT ALICIA FLAHHRSS, IT TAKES YOU NINE YEARS OF HELL TO REALIZE SHIT WHAT A DUMBASS.

From ages 1-8, my mother has implied (and forced) the importance of putting others before yourself. She always said that if you have two of something, give the other to someone who is in need of it, no matter who it is. She taught me to forgive others no matter what they say or do to you. She always told me that people have good intentions, but may not always make the best decisions. Repeatedly, she has shown me how good deeds pay off, how wicked people are the way they are because of their need of love, and the mysterious and delicious ways of God.

From ages 9-16, my father has always told me that there are no rules to life, rules were meant to be broken, and that no one can force you to do anything you don't want to. He's taught me the wicked ways of humanity, and most importantly, he has taught me that in the end, no one gives a shit about you so it's in your best interest to care for yourself. He's always said to put yourself first because it's you vs. the world every day.

Either way, you lose. You listen to my mother and you end up a misunderstood pushover with abundant love to give and no one to give it to. You listen to my father and you end up with nothing but your pride. I guess I understand their points of view if I base them off the way and where they were raised, but it's hard to pick a lifestyle to follow because there's no gray area to live comfortably in. Unfortunately, I have chosen to live by a little bit of both, and you can see for yourself how terribly that's working out for me. The best thing to do is to keep quiet and observant, which are two things I suck dick at.

P.S. You know how Mexicans use their mother's maiden name in their full name? (Hence the long ass last names.) I found out today (I saw a copy of her birth certificate) that my grandmother's maiden name is Xolotly. Too bad my great grandmother married a spanish man, we could've kept the Native American going AND I COULD HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE. Damn it all.

When you play with fire, you get burned. Except if you're an Aztec summoning spirits.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_6LhIxKGvo